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    • #32274
      Anonymous
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      A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know to say one thing’

      ‘What do they say?’ the priest asked.

      They say, ‘Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’

      ‘That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,

      Then he thought for a moment…… “You know,’ he said, ‘I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male
      talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible… Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
      And your parrots are sure to stop saying…. That phrase… In no time..’

      ‘Thank you,’ the woman responded, ‘this may very well be the solution..’

      The next day, She brought her female parrots to the priest’s house….. As he ushered her in, She saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying..

      Impressed, She walked over and placed her parrots in with them…

      After a few minutes, The female parrots cried out in unison: ‘Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’

      There was stunned silence…

      One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says, ‘Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered!

    • #32281
      bullet maker
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      Saw that coming. Still funny.

    • #32283
      Harter
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      Lololol

      I like it.

    • #32288
      Reg
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      Good one !!!

    • #32292
      kens
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      A guy is sitting on a park bench across the street from the White House, a Marine Sentry guarding the front gate of WH.
      The guy walks over to the Marine Sentry and asks ” May I see President Hillary clinton”?
      The marine says ” I’m sorry, but Hillary isn’t president and is not here”
      The guy says OK and goes back to his bench.

      The next day the same guy walks over to that same Marine and asks ” May I see President Hillary Clinton, please”?
      Again the sentry says ” Hillary is not president and is not here”
      The guy goes back to his bench.

      The third day the guy returns to the front gate and the same sentry and asks for third time, “may I see President Clinton”?
      The Marine, understandably irritated says ” Look mister, I told you already, clinton aint the president, OK”?
      the guy says, “yeah, I know, but I just like to hear you say it”

      The Marine salutes the man and says “See you tomorrow” !!!

    • #32294
      Rattlesnake Charlie
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      LOL. Me too!

    • #32319
      popper
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      ” As a crowded airliner is about to take-off, the peace is suddenly
      shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild
      temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does
      to try to calm him down, the boy continues to cream furiously and kick
      the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an older
      man in the uniform of a US Navy Chief begins to make his way up the
      aisle. Stopping the frustrated mother’s upraised hand, the white haired,
      courtly, soft-spoken Chief leans down and, motioning toward his
      collar, whispers something into the boy’s ear. Instantly, the boy calms
      down, gently takes his mother’s hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt.
      All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the Chief
      slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants
      touches his sleeve. “Excuse me Chief”, she asks quietly, “could I ask
      you what magic words you used on that little boy?” The Chief smiled
      serenely and gently confides, “I showed him my anchors, service stripes,
      and battle ribbons, and then explained to him that they entitled me to
      throw one passenger out of the plane.” “

    • #32495
      Goodsteel
      Keymaster
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      Bwaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! love it!!!!

    • #32496
      Harter
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      😉 I’ve been on that flight

    • #32500
      kens
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      Harter;n12929 wrote: 😉 I’ve been on that flight

      One time, that bad flight was my own kid.
      I stood up looked around to everybody onboard and just said, “sorry folks, but today its MY turn”
      Half the people got a half chuckle, the other half just tolerated us.

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